"Don't stand so close to me"
Summer 1996. Aleks, Chalmers, Jason, Josh, David and I were playing football in a sand dune in the Pineries Provincial Park near Grand Bend. We were camping there by ourselves without parents and were having the time of our lives. As we were throwing the foot ball around, we noticed two girls higher up watching us. They were clearly enjoying the spectacle of our clumsy attempts to play football. To say we weren't overly athletic would have been an understatement. I mean, some of has had been on track teams or baseball teams, but let's face it. We were labelled nerds at school, and at times the shoe fit. These girls were laughing, and whistling, and eventually called out to us saying they thought one of us was particularly attractive: David. We all broke down laughing. David was gay.
"I'm a fag," he declard with pride. Not missing a beat, they said, "Oh well, the guy in the green pants is pretty cute. We'll take him instead!"
And just who was the guy in the green pants? Yours truly. The girls came down from their perch and we shyly exchanged words with them. The girls were from Milton which was where I lived before I moved to London. So we talked about the landmarks (chuckle) of Milton. At some point they said that they had to leave but they gave us their lot number. After they were gone for awhile we decided to find this lot.
It was still somewhat light out but it was getting dark as we searched and searched for the girls' lot. As it turned out we going round in circles. As much as I wanted to find these girls, because truthfully I was a love-starved "nerd", I was willing to let it drop. The immortal words of Paul McCartney" I'm in love but I'm lazy" were beginning to ring true.
It was completely dark now. One of us noticed there was a way we hadn't tried it, an low and behold we found the girls.....and their parents!
It turns out they were younger than us. We were 15-17 then. These girls were 14. It is not a huge age difference but when you are that young every year counts. When it became clear that there was going to be no action sexual or otherwise, we decided to retire to our campsite to annoy our American neighbour with our "loud behaviour".
"Y'all be quiet, or I'll call the rangers, y'hear?"
It's still funny to this day. He was being serious but his thick, southern accent betrayed him We were having a good time and here this southern goof wanted to rain on our parade. It's true, we were being a bit noisy but it was not his park to ruin our fun. That's what we thought until, sure enough, the Yogi's showed up to tell us to be quiet.
Unbelievable. First we go on what seemed like a wild goose chase to find some girls who weren't even old enough, and now some yankee-doodle dandy has called in the heavies. Oh well, we had fun anyway, so it's all good.
"I'm a fag," he declard with pride. Not missing a beat, they said, "Oh well, the guy in the green pants is pretty cute. We'll take him instead!"
And just who was the guy in the green pants? Yours truly. The girls came down from their perch and we shyly exchanged words with them. The girls were from Milton which was where I lived before I moved to London. So we talked about the landmarks (chuckle) of Milton. At some point they said that they had to leave but they gave us their lot number. After they were gone for awhile we decided to find this lot.
It was still somewhat light out but it was getting dark as we searched and searched for the girls' lot. As it turned out we going round in circles. As much as I wanted to find these girls, because truthfully I was a love-starved "nerd", I was willing to let it drop. The immortal words of Paul McCartney" I'm in love but I'm lazy" were beginning to ring true.
It was completely dark now. One of us noticed there was a way we hadn't tried it, an low and behold we found the girls.....and their parents!
It turns out they were younger than us. We were 15-17 then. These girls were 14. It is not a huge age difference but when you are that young every year counts. When it became clear that there was going to be no action sexual or otherwise, we decided to retire to our campsite to annoy our American neighbour with our "loud behaviour".
"Y'all be quiet, or I'll call the rangers, y'hear?"
It's still funny to this day. He was being serious but his thick, southern accent betrayed him We were having a good time and here this southern goof wanted to rain on our parade. It's true, we were being a bit noisy but it was not his park to ruin our fun. That's what we thought until, sure enough, the Yogi's showed up to tell us to be quiet.
Unbelievable. First we go on what seemed like a wild goose chase to find some girls who weren't even old enough, and now some yankee-doodle dandy has called in the heavies. Oh well, we had fun anyway, so it's all good.
posted by The Doctor at 5:29 PM
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