"Party at Todd's house"
Summer 1999
One time, and only one time, I did what many a good teenager does when he or she is sowing his or her wild oats: I held a wild, drunken party at my house while my parents were on vacation.
Weber and Wes usually held parties at their place, and they were always saying how they'd like to go to somebody else's place for a change. Wes, being like an older brother figure to me and therefore always picking on me, targeted me in particular...and I would oblige him.
It was perfect. My parents were away and they took my brother Gordon with them (eliminating a potential tattle-tale/blackmailer). I went to the liqour store to buy some booze for the evening. The girl behind the counter knew me, and didn't ID me (I was of age, I just didn't have proper ID). People came in waves as they usually do, bearing booze across the suburban range. There weren't too many people, just Weber, Wes, Shephard,, Chalmers, Sean, Harky (I had to physically keep this horny bastard away from my sister) and his friend, Rob.
We listened to Metallica's Load and Guns 'n' Roses' Appetite for Destruction. Paradise City seemed to go on forever as we all got drunk. I remember telling people nt to break anything as I knocked a plant over. Later (or perhaps the same time), I am told, I said "Let's trash the place!!" and the guys were like "Todd this is your place!"
As it got later, it seemed it was unspokenly decided I had done my duty in holding a party, and that now we could move on to the bars. We took our beers with us as we walked through my neighbourhood to the bus stop. I finished my beer and did not know what to do with the empty bottle. Then a brilliant idea came to my booze-addled mind. I lifted the bottle and with considerable force, smashed it on the sidewalk...right in front my childhood friend Ryan's house. Ryan, who was sitting on his front porch at the time, yelled "HEY!!" as if I was some random drunkard,and then he realized who it was and was like "Todd!" like a disappointed parent. We got on the bus and went downtown. I remember getting off where riverside meet dundas and we all lined up along the fence around Labatt Park and relieved ourselves.
We ended up, I'm not proud to say this, at Solid Gold's, a strip joint. Sean wasn't comfortable with this (neither was I, but he was more resistant and vocal about it) but the guys shamed him into coming in with us. I don't remember much at this point (or maybe I choose not to remember). I went up on stage lay downwith a toony on my face while a naked girl danced over me and took the toony graciously away. I remember having drunken conversation with an Indian stripper, telling her that I was part Indian. I don't think she believed me (alas this white skin...). I also remember talking to Sean about my feelings for Terryl. Poor guy. Here he was in a situation he didn't want to be in, and now his so-called friend was talking about his sister. But then this is just one of a number of things we did to Sean that makes it little wonder he diappeared. I don't remember the rest of the evening.
I woke up the next day slightly hungover, and my sister and I cleaned up the debris of the night before.
One time, and only one time, I did what many a good teenager does when he or she is sowing his or her wild oats: I held a wild, drunken party at my house while my parents were on vacation.
Weber and Wes usually held parties at their place, and they were always saying how they'd like to go to somebody else's place for a change. Wes, being like an older brother figure to me and therefore always picking on me, targeted me in particular...and I would oblige him.
It was perfect. My parents were away and they took my brother Gordon with them (eliminating a potential tattle-tale/blackmailer). I went to the liqour store to buy some booze for the evening. The girl behind the counter knew me, and didn't ID me (I was of age, I just didn't have proper ID). People came in waves as they usually do, bearing booze across the suburban range. There weren't too many people, just Weber, Wes, Shephard,, Chalmers, Sean, Harky (I had to physically keep this horny bastard away from my sister) and his friend, Rob.
We listened to Metallica's Load and Guns 'n' Roses' Appetite for Destruction. Paradise City seemed to go on forever as we all got drunk. I remember telling people nt to break anything as I knocked a plant over. Later (or perhaps the same time), I am told, I said "Let's trash the place!!" and the guys were like "Todd this is your place!"
As it got later, it seemed it was unspokenly decided I had done my duty in holding a party, and that now we could move on to the bars. We took our beers with us as we walked through my neighbourhood to the bus stop. I finished my beer and did not know what to do with the empty bottle. Then a brilliant idea came to my booze-addled mind. I lifted the bottle and with considerable force, smashed it on the sidewalk...right in front my childhood friend Ryan's house. Ryan, who was sitting on his front porch at the time, yelled "HEY!!" as if I was some random drunkard,and then he realized who it was and was like "Todd!" like a disappointed parent. We got on the bus and went downtown. I remember getting off where riverside meet dundas and we all lined up along the fence around Labatt Park and relieved ourselves.
We ended up, I'm not proud to say this, at Solid Gold's, a strip joint. Sean wasn't comfortable with this (neither was I, but he was more resistant and vocal about it) but the guys shamed him into coming in with us. I don't remember much at this point (or maybe I choose not to remember). I went up on stage lay downwith a toony on my face while a naked girl danced over me and took the toony graciously away. I remember having drunken conversation with an Indian stripper, telling her that I was part Indian. I don't think she believed me (alas this white skin...). I also remember talking to Sean about my feelings for Terryl. Poor guy. Here he was in a situation he didn't want to be in, and now his so-called friend was talking about his sister. But then this is just one of a number of things we did to Sean that makes it little wonder he diappeared. I don't remember the rest of the evening.
I woke up the next day slightly hungover, and my sister and I cleaned up the debris of the night before.
posted by The Doctor at 2:13 PM
3 Comments:
You need not be apologetic. Hell, Todd you were at Poachers the night I had Nathan profess his love for my sister -- and now she's married to him. It didn't push me away, it brought us together.
So you see, it's not a unique or outrageous event in and of itself, and therefore does not warrant an apology. Furthermore, if through the course of living your well-intentioned daily life, you offend someone, and never learn of it, and therefore are never afforded the opportunity to amend the matter, can you really be held at fault in perpetuity?
In Sean's case, his disappearance from our lives was on his own terms and for his own reasons. We don't know why. We may never know why, and it's added cognitive dissonance to our collective pyche. But we've done the best that we reasonably can to respect that.
We miss him anyway.
I wasn't really apoligizing as such. I was merely realizing that there was a fair number of times when we, and I in particular, treated him in a way that might be construed as poorly, and inconsiderate, and I was merely speculating that the collective events might have driven him away. Like Smokey, Sean was emotionally fragile. Do I feel guilt now years later? Not really. I just thought that it would add to the confessional atmosphere if I confess the wrong I've done without actually feeling guilty.....If anything I feel guilty about having been in a strip joint
I love your "confessional atmosphere." I think alot of people who read it do. I find it uplifting actually, and the content is really unique. So, now on to policy with respect to Seaner...
I'm one of those people who believes in the individual. Not really an existentialist, that's perhaps limiting. But I place alot of emphasis on the power (and fault) of the individual. It's kind of liberating in a way, because it's a recognition that you're not omnipotent- you're not a mind reader.
In that sense, you can only do the best job you can based on the world you observe; the sum of what you know. The philosophy I'm promoting here says, if you can NEVER aquire feedback about a certain action, then you cannot reasonablly burden yourself with wondering what the outcome was. Afterall, what is the act of learning without knowing if you did something right or wrong?
If someone closes off their reaction to daily life's events, then there's no way to realistically know what their reaction was. Shit, Todd, you're not a mind reader. And neither am I. We always try to do the right thing, but if you are given NO frame of reference, sometimes the right thing is the wrong thing.
So in that sense I say, do the courtesy of apologizing for an act only when someone gives you the courtesy of an indication of wrong doing. Anything else is just second guessing yourself.... and Chalmers is another story :-)
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