Prelude to darkness

May 2-4 weekend 2001 and Aleks' departure to Germany.

Aleks, Chalmers, Brittany and I went to Georgette's farmhouse. Sean and Georgette had broken up a while back, and Sean had gone into self-imposed exile. Even at this point, when it seemed like Sean was coming out his "time out" with us, we seemed to find it easier to hang out with Georgette. This time that I am writing about was the beginning of my second drinking phase, when I had stopped taking my psychiatric meds and let alcohol be my drug instead. This was also during my friends' period of dabbling with marijuana. For the Victoria Day celebration we brought with us some 2-4s (of course) and some fire-crackers. Aleks set off some bottle rockets and yelled "Fire in the hole!!" I was like "Dude, you're giving me flashbacks to 'Nam."

Aleks and I brought our guitars and played a song we wrote with the embarasssing working title of "Slouching Tide". We had formed a two person band called Distribution, which was shortened from the original Illicit Lip Distributors. One time we went to the University music building to use one of their practice rooms, and we were politely told by security to move along.

That night we gathered a bunch of wood together and Georgette lit a huge bonfire. We sat out drinking, and watching the stars come out. Later that nightGeorgette's brother, his friends, and Chalmers hot boxed a tracter. Chalmers was so stoned that he did not descend the stairs, but, rather, fell the full 4 feet or more to the ground. Everybody laughed, including Chalmers.

The next night we did more of the same. Chalmers was blamed for moving a tent to the middle of a cornfield. We all laughed as he vehemently denied it.

The next morning I felt sick. I attributed it to the booze but I sick with a srtange illness, which I will talk about later, for a week afterwards.
We went home and later we we went to Britt's place to watch what became the cult film for our group: The Big Lebowski. We all adopted identities from the film. Aleks was dubbed Walter, the cranky Vietnam vet, Chalmer was honoured with the title of The Dude. I apparently was Donny, the space cadet, and of course Britt was Maud the crazy, naked painter.

I went home, and for the next week or so, I was over-taken with a strange illness. I felt chills and aches. I didn't have a fever but I felt like I did. I had severe insomnia but I hardly moved from my bed at all. Most of all, I had strange thoughts that I could even begin to describe. I eventually recovered in time to to join the festivities of Aleks' departure to Germany to do his internship at Volkswagonin Wolfsburg.

Aleks was lucky enough to have two going away parties. The first was held by Trish (whose infamy in our circle will not be mentioned here). I had bought a huge bottle of Jack Daniels Whisky and had nearly finishe it off in moderation over the last few months. I took it with me. I drank beer ate chips and salsa and played Trsh's electric guitar. At some point Aleks dared me to chug the whisky. Now, I'm not big on the taste of Jack Daniels on the best of occasions, but this stuff taken straight and a lot at a time caused a gag relfex, and I threw up all over Trish's amp and around the floor. The vomit was diligently cleaned up, and I was cut off for the night.

The next night we had a second party at our favourite pub, The Poacher's Arm. Many people showed up. At one point Brittany made an overly sentimemtal toast to Aleks and "to good times, and always being together, and all of us being in the same retirement home..." My friend, Neil, was like "God, this getting depressing. Our friend, Matt piped up "To elbows!" and we all cheersed with our elbows, effectively shutting up the sob story which was Britt's toast. I started feeling depressed somewhere near the end of the night, thinking of Aleks leaving (yess Britt wasn't the only overly sentimental one). Being off my meds and drinking didn't help matters either.

The next day, Chalmers and I went over to Aleks' place to say our goodbyes. This was the last time Aleks saw me before my "regeneration". A lot happened to me before I saw him again...

"School's out forever..."

In June 1999, I graduated from highschool. High school seemed to be more of a prison sentence than a schooling period, but I suppose it was a necessary part of my development. Towards the end of the last school year, I was feeling more infatuation with Sarah. Aleks and I went for a walk one night, drinking screwdrivers (vodka and orange juice) out of flasks. I explained to him my situation. I wanted to ask her out, but I didn't know how. Aleks, being a guy who is very generous with his advice-giving, told me how he thought I should do it.
"Just let it come up in conversation. Say 'I'd really like to get together some time. Maybe we could go for coffee?'"
I thanked him for the screwdriver and the advice, and I psyched myself up to ask her at any opportunity.

Well, for those reading expecting a happy end to this part of the story, I deliver now the bad news. I chickened out. Not just once but a number of times I talked to her and I just couldn't do it. Aleks' dad years later gave me the best advice regarding dating that could have helped me here. He said "Be honest and don't chicken out. Rejection is not the end of the world no matter how painful it seems at the time."

Graduations are funny things. You spend have the day trying to make yourself look immaculate, but by the end of the night (or, more accurately, early the next morning)
you end up drunk, wearing your tie around your head, clutching a nearly empty bottle of Captain Morgen's spiced rum, singing along to an AC/DC song, all with a wide grin on your face.


My mom and i went out to get me a suit, tie and pants. My shaagy hair was cut short, and my goatee trimmed and shortened. I looked as good as a slob like me could. Sean, the only one with propped ID, bought all the booze, and was enlisted to be designated driver. (Sorry Sean!)

We were all dressed up to the nines, and my mom snapped pictures of us. I told my mom I would be home late. We went the dinner at the Hellenic Greek Centre, and then
there was the dance. Dances have always given me an awkward feeling. I'm not the kind of guy who hates to dance per se, butI always feel like such a loser at these things, especially when I can't muster the courage to ask the girl I like to dance. So after a while, Aleks and I ducked out and started drinking in the parking lot, watching the stars come out. I started getting a good buzz on.

We went to the after party,which we call the main event. It was held outside at somebody's farm house. This was where the drinking began in earnest. Now, I won't lie. I got quite smashed that night. Consequently my memory of the party is spotty. I remember at some point stumbling around in the dark, and I dropped my mickey, fortunately with the lid on. Sean picked it up and gave it to me. I took a big swig and resumed stumbling around. Minutes later I dropped the mickey again. Sean picked it up again, and I took an even bigger swig. Mere seconds later I dropped the damn thing again, and this time Sean wisely kept it from me saying "you're cut off!"

At some point I went up to my old buddy Matt saying "I can't feel my face," slapping my face as I said it. I proceeded give tiny slaps to his face. He ever so gently gave me the back of his hand, causing me to fall to the ground, laughing all the way down.


I remember near the end of the night, I was lying in the back seat of Sean's car. Aleks was puking in the bushes, and the people in the car next to us were cranking up AC/DC's "You shook me all night long." I was like "Yeaaahh!!" nand the girl in the car, who obviously less drunk than I was, said "You like this song. Awesome!" It was almost as if she was talking to a child or someone with some kind mental deficiency. Well, the booze'll do that to you!

At around 5am we went home. The new day was dawning. I opened the door to my house and my mom was there, angry with me for beinghome so late.
"But mom," I said with a huge grin, "I told you I would be late." This has become a running gag in my household ever since.

All in all it was a good time.