Live for today
I want to try something new with this post. Instead of looking directly at the past, I want to consider where I am at now. Much of the past plays itself out in the present so it is not really a departure from the format of Snapshots of a Life.
I am now 30 years old. And it feels great! 29 felt very transitional but that comes with the territory. I went through several life changes at once. I moved out of my parents' place, moved out of my home town, started a Master's program, and all this was done while going through a major episode with my illness. But the changes were not static one-shot deals. Things continue to change. I continue to grow. Another major change was my informal conversion to Christianity. I say 'informal' as I have not been baptized or anything like that but I identify myself as Christian.
Attending church has given me something nothing else could: an effective weapon against my outsider feeling. The very first message I heard was that there is no outsider to God. There was a reason Jesus spent most of His time with marginal peoples.
The new program has brought me new friends. In particular I have been close friends with Andrew who brought me to his church, and Lucas whom I hang out with regularly. At the time of writing this I am working on my major project. Reading and trying to understand Heidegger is challenging but enjoyable.
I have moments where I am either afraid of slipping back into the anxiety-obsessional-delusional pattern of thought or of the future holding a greater challenge but for the first time in my life the present matters to me more than past or future.
I am now 30 years old. And it feels great! 29 felt very transitional but that comes with the territory. I went through several life changes at once. I moved out of my parents' place, moved out of my home town, started a Master's program, and all this was done while going through a major episode with my illness. But the changes were not static one-shot deals. Things continue to change. I continue to grow. Another major change was my informal conversion to Christianity. I say 'informal' as I have not been baptized or anything like that but I identify myself as Christian.
Attending church has given me something nothing else could: an effective weapon against my outsider feeling. The very first message I heard was that there is no outsider to God. There was a reason Jesus spent most of His time with marginal peoples.
The new program has brought me new friends. In particular I have been close friends with Andrew who brought me to his church, and Lucas whom I hang out with regularly. At the time of writing this I am working on my major project. Reading and trying to understand Heidegger is challenging but enjoyable.
I have moments where I am either afraid of slipping back into the anxiety-obsessional-delusional pattern of thought or of the future holding a greater challenge but for the first time in my life the present matters to me more than past or future.
posted by The Doctor at 4:21 PM
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