The Devil's drink

One summer night, I got very drunk. I mean really crazy drunk. I mean, so drunk that things like believing I could fly, and that my shirt was telling me to fuck off would otherwise be considered evidence of some kind of mania. And it was all my friend, Weber's fault. I went over to Aleks' place and Weber and I waited outside while Aleks got ready. Smoking a cigarette, Weber had with him a mickey of whiskey, from which he invited me to take pulls.
"Are you drunk yet," he'd inquire.
"Nope," I'd reply
"Keep drinking."

And so it was that, in a short time, I drank a significant portion of Weber's whiskey, and I was flying high. I went into Aleks' house and jumper , or perhaps flew, down Aleks stairs to his family room, to the astonishment of Aleks and Chalmers. Thankfully, his parents were out of town that night.

We went over to Weber's place Aleks, Kristine, Chalmers, and I, accompanied by the minors: Aleks' sister, Jen and her friend, Ashley. We were taking them, I didn't realize, to the house of sin with Wes watching porn, me drunk, and Weber smoking up. The subject of dating came up, and once again I said "Nobody's gonna date me." This starte a famous rant. "Nice girls won't go out with me. They say 'Todd, you're a nice guy, but I don't want to date you. So fuck off!' Even my shirt doesn't like me. 'Todd, you're a nice guy, but I don't wat you to wear me. So, fuck off!!'" And I proceeded to take me shirt off and threw it, to the horror of all present. I said to Kristine, who was particularly shocked, "I'd go out with you if you weren't going out with Aleks." Aleks was not amused.

Later that night, instigated by Kristine, Aleks and I, hetero life-mates, shared a passionate, manly kiss.

At the house of sin, someone gave alcohol to to the two girls. I was ranting at the time so I did not witness it. By the time we got back to Aleks' place, they were quite smashed and so was I. We went down to Aleks family room and three of us sprawled out on the couch. Laying on top of my lap, Ashley squealed and laughed as I tickled her legs and feet.

Soon, I began to realize I should go home, but Aleks said it would be better for everyone if I stayed. I said I should call my siister, who was home alone, to tell her where I was but it was early in the morning and Aleks said I ought not disturb her. I agreed and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning not knowing where I was, but I heard voices coming from downstairs. Ashley and Jen were comparing notes on the previous night. I went straight home to my sister, who had been worried. I was quite hungover, and I made some comfort food and allowed my body to recover.

"Ah alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" - H. Simpson